Rear Window Ethics
by MermaidMidna
Summary: Three months after they start dating, he finally manages to convince her to watch his favourite movie with him. It's both the worst and best mistake of his life.


Three months after they start dating, he finally manages to convince her to watch his favourite movie with him. Of course, when he initially found out that she had never seen _Rear Window,_ she might as well have told him that the world was ending. Eventually he gets over it, and eventually they're sitting on the couch in the loft, eating popcorn out of a bowl and watching Jimmy Stewart watching people.

It's been a while since he's seen the movie; admittedly, Vanessa's little Grace Kelly stunt had turned him off of it for a bit. But, despite the fact that he's long overdue for a rerun, he seems to be watching Blair more than the movie itself, glancing to his left to catch her reaction during the best parts. He is surprised to find he can't read her expression.

_Lisa's Theme _is playing during the credits, and he turns to face her fully.

"So…"

"Why do you like this movie so much? I felt like _I_ was the one suffocating at the end."

His mouth falls open in shock. Then he goes into defense mode. "It's called suspense, and Hitchcock does it perfectly. Didn't you pick up on any of the symbolism?"

She crosses her arms. "The only thing I picked up on was the fact that Grace Kelly really shouldn't be climbing up ladders and through windows in thoseheels."

He raises his eyebrows. "You wouldn't do that for me if I asked you to?"

"I decline to answer this question and instead ask you one of my own." She pats his knee, much harder than she normally would. "Why on earth would you be asking me to climb _anything_ in Louis Vuittons and a dress knowing full-well that I might meet a murderer on my journey? Surely Jeff didn't love Lisa, or he wouldn't have put her in that dangerous position in the first place."

"Oh, now you're being subjective! Besides, he didn't _make _Lisa do anything."

"He didn't seem to love her until they went through a traumatic experience together," she says matter-of-factly. "That's not love; that's guilt weighing on his conscience and making him marry her because he felt bad for what he put her through."

"You're ridiculous."

"You have awful taste in movies."

"Would it have been better if the final scene was a cliché of them kissing in the rain as the camera fades to black?"

This time her mouth falls ajar and she narrows her eyes at him. "You did _not_ just go there."

"I believe I did, my dear."

_I wish I were creative. _

_You are. You're great at creating difficult situations._

She stands up and makes to storm out of his building, but he pulls her into his lap and kisses her. "We argue about the dumbest things," she mumbles against his lips before he silences her again.

* * *

><p>He gets news from Alessandra that the publishing company is paying for him to go to Europe to do research for his new book, <em>The Monarch of Manhattan.<em> He's so ecstatic that he goes to Blair's penthouse straight away to tell her the news.

"So that's it? You're going away to England for a month, and I'm stuck here with Serena who won't even look at me in the eye ever since I started dating you, and Nate who is fawning over Lola, and…" She doesn't finish that list.

His face falls. "I thought you would be happy for me."

Her face mirrors his. "Oh, no, Dan! Of course I'm happy for you. I just… I wish I could go with you."

"I'll be researching and writing all day and all night. I'll be so busy that I won't even have time for you." He decides to be honest. "And, well… you might be a distraction."

"A distraction!" Bad decision.

"No, I mean-"

She sticks out her lower lip, and he never considered pouting to be a serious expression until now. "You just don't want me there, admit it."

He holds his hands up in defense, shaking his head. "That's not it at all!"

"You think I'm going to get in the way of your work. Which is just silly, considering I _was _the inspiration for _Inside."_

"We weren't together then. It's different now. But that's not your fault."

_There's nothing wrong with you, Lisa. You've got this town in the palm of your hand._

_Not quite, it seems._

"I get it. You need some time to be alone to write. Goodbye, Dan," she says, and it sounds far more permanent than it should be.

* * *

><p>He breaks his leg on the eleventh day of his trip.<p>

Say life is giving you signs…

He calls her the next day, biting his lip to stop the tears from coming as he hears her voice.

"Hello?"

"I miss you so much it hurts."

He can practically see her face, rolling her eyes at his ridiculousness but smiling all the same. "I miss you too, Dan."

Soon he's spouting apologies into the phone and she's forgiving him and they're talking for hours on end.

_I'm in love with you. I don't care what you do for a living. I'd just like to be part of it somehow._

"Tell me why I went on this god-awful trip," he grumbles, hating the Atlantic Ocean more than anything at the moment.

"To do research for your book, my love," she says patiently. "It's a great, cultural experience, and the expenses were all paid for and-"

"I broke my leg."

"What?" The shrill voice that she manages to produce is alarming. "How?"

He explains to her how the washroom was downstairs and he was upstairs. How he had a bit too much coffee to drink and how he kept dreaming of lakes and oceans and waterfalls. How he'd had tried to make it down the stairs in the middle of the night and how he had missed a few steps.

"You're an idiot, Humphrey."

He sighs. "I know."

"Goodnight, Dan."

He thinks he hears her sniff into the phone, but he always had a mawkish imagination.

"Goodnight, Blair."

"Come home soon."

"I'll try."

* * *

><p>He comes home for three months, finishes his second novel, and Alessandra arranges for him to go on a book tour only a month after that. He agrees to go, as long as it's only for a week. He's in Vancouver (sleeping) when Blair calls him.<p>

"I think I figured it out."

"Figured what out, my dear? It's 3 in the morning here…"

"Your movie. Your stupid movie that has taken my mind into its clutches and hasn't let go until now."

"Movie?"

"_Rear Window._ I've finally managed to figure out why it means so much to you." She pauses, presumably to give him time to process the fact that she has been thinking about this movie for at least five months now. Or maybe she's just being dramatic.

"It's because you identify with Jeff, an outsider looking in. But at the same time there is a part of you that is exactly like those you are looking at, even the bad ones," she continues. "You and me, we're Jeff and Lisa. But we're also the pianist and Miss. Lonely Hearts, the eccentric couple who sleeps on a mattress outside, the newlyweds who can't get enough of each other, and even Mr. Thorwald and his wife. Sometimes we lose our tempers and argue. Sometimes you go away on trips and I miss you terribly. Sometimes I lose myself and I read your book again and it saves me. You saved me, Dan. And I love your movie. I love your stupid movie, and I love you."

"Marry me," he breathes.

There's silence on the other end, and somehow he knows it's not because she's considering her answer but because he's rendered her speechless.

Her voice is raspy and excited when she finally speaks.

"Come home and ask me again. Properly."

_When two people love each other, they come together - WHAM - like two taxis on Broadway._

* * *

><p><em><em>Thank you so much for reading. Please review if you have the time. I'd really appreciate it! <em>_

_Also, big thanks to Rebecca for all her help!_


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